About three months ago my dad had some blood work done. His PSA (prostate specific antigen) was high. In general, a normal PSA is considered less than 4 ng/ml (nanograms per milliliter). An abnormal result usually calls for additional testing. I don't have the exact number, but recall hearing that Dad's PSA was high double digits into the low 100s. At that point, his doctor ordered an additional test. Dad's primary care doctor also retired in this time frame. After selecting a new primary care doctor and getting the results of the second PSA, he was sent for a bone density scan as his results were still well into the abnormal range.
To explain, a bone density scan was used as a full body scan and is capable of identifying smaller areas of concern. With those results, lesions (also noted as cancerous bony lesions) were discovered in multiple areas including his face, arm, and lower ribs. To further evaluate and identify areas of concern, dad was sent for a CT scan. The CT was used on a narrowed selection of his body and typically identifies large areas which are of concern or afflicted. The CT did identify a large lesion in the lumbar spine.
From there, dad was also referred to both an oncologist and a urologist. It was determined that he had a 95-99% probability of prostate cancer. Prior to the CT, most of us were unaware of the situation or the totality of the prospects Dad was facing. We were all brought into the fold as the CT was scheduled and referrals issued. We made a point to be in attendance, within all human reason, at every appointment from here on out. Not all of us would be at every single appointment, but it is paramount that Dad and Pilar know they are not alone and their family and friends will encircle them in an unbreakable ring of support.
The "c" word is horrifying in and of itself. I myself have had the experience of sitting in front of a doctor while he explained that I was showing symptoms that could very well be a prelude to cancer. We know first hand what it's like to try to cope and the lasting and undeniable impact that this disease in any form has on people and their families and loved ones. Facing one's own mortality, or the mortality of someone close to you is in a word - unspeakable. We simply knew and know there was no option but to be there through the thick of it and beyond. I can also say - in my exposure to prostate cancer in recent weeks, I believe I understand that it's generally slow moving and very treatable. We've had multiple doctors consult with us and have commented that a vast number of prostate cancer patients live long lives with treatment and often pass away as a result of other causes. In the deep dark barrel of darkness, I absolutely embraced that as a bright shining beacon.
With PSA, bone density scan and CT results in hand, we first went to the oncologist. An oncologist by definition is a medical professional who specializes in tumors, including the origins, development, diagnosis, and treatment of malignant neoplasms. In short, we've come to refer to him as a cancer doctor. The oncologist reviewed all his previous test results and during our consultation stated that by his estimation Dad had metastatic prostate cancer and could very well be stage 4 with the identification of the lesions that had spread throughout his body. It was now necessary to complete a biopsy to determine specifics and move forward with a treatment plan.
Just prior to year end, dad had his consultation with the urologist. A urologist specializes in the study of or treatment of the function and disorders of the urinary system. Yes, ladies and gentlemen... Bodily function talk is simply a fact of life and completely unavoidable in this situation. Although I've been filled in on this appointment, I can't speak heavily as to what occurred because I was not able to be present in this case. The urologist scheduled a prostate specific biopsy for late January. He also mentioned hormone treatments as a possible route for a prostate cancer diagnosis. The oncologist had laid out an aggressive treatment option (which is dad's choice and wish) which included hormone treatments, chemotherapy, and possible clinical trials.
We'll come back to that. Fast forward to today. As many of you saw, he had the biopsy that had been arranged with the oncologist. It was to take place in the lumbar (L2). Throughout this experience dad was having pain in his back which eventually transferred around to his upper thigh and into the pelvic area. As I read and study things, this seems to make good connective sense because leg muscles are, if I'm correct, woven into the lumbar nerves. At any rate. I'm NOT a doctor, just trying to be aware and informed about all of this. Of note today, from the short consultation with the radiologist conducting the biopsy procedure, we learned that there is A CHANCE that a second prostate specific biopsy may not need to occur if they're able to glean sufficient results from the sample taken today. We should get those results by mid week, next week.
The oncologist said that from the biopsy results, we'd have a confirmed diagnosis and be able to organize and determine treatment options and plans moving forward. So, for now, we wait. There will be numerous follow ups and specialists, consultations and interactions, treatments, tests, and evaluations to come. In no respect is this a short road. There's no streamlined direct route. For all of you who know me, you understand that I'm a pitbull, stubborn, aggressive, abrupt, direct, succinct, dry personality. I don't have patience and extremely low tolerance for wishy washy lolly gagging indecisive unreliable or useless interactions. I will move mountains, oceans, valleys, and tilt the earth on its axis if I'm determined or believe strongly in something or someone.
We are going this route, for now. I'm hopeful that his doctors work in tandem and efficiently and logically. I'm not afraid to rock the boat if we're not comfortable or the situation warrants it. I'm a firm believer in making the attempt in medical situations, but I harbor zero qualms or fears in saying, "this doesn't or isn't working. Do something else. Try something else. Get another opinion." We must all be advocates for our health and care and for the health and care of those within our circles.
I know that I'm one voice in this cacophony of voices at this stage. I also know that I'm likely the loudest voice. And that's ok too. I'll happily take on that role. It is tantamount that we fight. Not one single one of us will come through this unscathed. I'm sure at some point I'll make unpopular decisions and likely offend some of you. But I will not apologize for watching out for one of my "pack". I've sent far bigger and scarier people out of rooms or away crying or upset with me. Sometimes, it's just got to be done.
This in no way lessens our gratitude to each and every one of you who has or will send cards, expressed thoughts, uttered prayers, cried tears, fallen to your knees and spoken to God, been present in person, or even entertained a passing positive thought. Those acts all carry impact and are recognized and necessary to us all. We are thankful for you. It's important now that we keep lines of communication open and flowing, but please be cognizant and respectful of the sheer scope of the situation. As I've written recently... Each of us will cope in their own way. You'll often see me as the guard dog 😉.
To my sister, sister-in-law, brother, stepmom, mother, and aunt Judy, especially - THANK YOU. Although we may just be recognizing the tip of the iceberg, I don't have any worries of a titanic situation in our future. I'm eternally grateful and immensely appreciative of each of you and the people you are and what we have and will continue to do together.
And, to my Dad - fight. You have it in you. When you feel that strength giving way, you will lean on us. We will be there, without fail. You will come out on the other side and although the world will be a different place from now on, we'll always have the unbreakable bond of love and family. So you fight. You live. You take each day as it comes. You let go and let God. Draw inspiration and vitality from your grandkids, heart and soul from your children, wisdom and grace from your parents, free will and spontaneity from your siblings, and the warmth and spirit from your extensive family and friends.
I leave you all for now, with these, my words. Sometimes the path ahead veers from view, but the road will find its way, just as we will, even through the toughest of terrain.
~T